Epic Symphony LEAKED!
This kind of irresponsible downloading is what prevents young composers from listening carefully to music. If you can download a Symphony in two minutes, then why would you spend more than two minutes listening to it? Whereas, if it takes you an hour to go to the music store, browse the displays, and wait in line, then you're more likely to spend an hour listening to the Symphony.
Naturally, it wasn't me who leaked the file on the internet, but it could be costing me millions of dollars in income, not to mention bandwidth. Since I am not guilty of leaking my own music on the internet, it must have been one of my students at the Hotel Cadillac. The administrative offices, after I informed them that I could not possibly have leaked the music myself, opened an investigation. I will keep you all informed of the progress. Please email me if you'd like to serve on the jury.