Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Professor Returns

Patient Readers, I have returned to the blogosphere after a prolonged absence during which I served as Technology Consultant for John McCain's presidential campaign. Despite the protestations of my German role model -- the feminist-in-wolf's-clothing, William Osborne -- I chose to suspend my bloggership until all partisan political business subsided.

Next week, I will post the recording of McCain's presumptive, symphonic theme, composed by yours truly. The McCain campaign rejected my original title, "Libertarians Unite!," in favor of the more preemptive title, "A Symphonic Ode to the United States: We Shall Never Surrender."

In other news, I was not at the Hotel Cadillac during today's two-alarm fire, but I believe I know who was responsible. There's only one person who would run his air-conditioning unit during such inclimate weather. My colleague, Professor Tipsy Wonkersen -- most famous for his electronic composition that plays constantly near the Rochester waterfall -- sacrificed his life in order to keep his Casiophonic Water Organs in an always-frigid environment. May he rest in peace.


Blogger william said...

Dear Heebie,

It was actually me who set the fire, (but don't tell anyone.) Prof. Wonkerson, an inveterate cross-dresser, wouldn't give my wolf suit back!!! He thought that since it was a feminist wolf suit he could use it to disguise himself as Virginia. And don't play things down. It was a three alarm fire, not two. BTW, due to your McCain associations, your blog is to be summilarly delted. You're subverting our tender minds.


2:39 PM  

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